Is Couples Therapy Right for You? How to Know When It’s Time to Seek Help
If you’ve been feeling disconnected from your partner or struggling to communicate effectively, you're not alone. Many couples experience moments where they feel stuck or unsure about how to move forward.
Relationships, while rewarding, are complex and require ongoing effort to nurture and grow. When things get tough, seeking professional help through couples therapy can offer valuable support.
But how do you know when it’s time to reach out for help? Let’s explore why therapy works, the signs that therapy might be right for you, and how to take that first step toward strengthening your relationship.
Does Couples Therapy Work?
Couples therapy is designed to provide a safe space for partners to work through challenges in their relationship with the guidance of a trained therapist. The goal is not to "fix" the relationship in a quick fix but to help partners communicate better, understand each other's perspectives, and develop healthier ways to navigate conflict.
Statistics show that couples therapy can have a significant positive impact. According to research and data from the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (AAMFT), 70% of couples report a significant improvement in relationship satisfaction. Whether it’s improving communication, increasing emotional intimacy, or learning new coping strategies, therapy provides tools that can help rebuild the connection you once had.
Whether couples therapy works depends on a number of factors including 1) how you define success in couples therapy (maybe that’s better communication and a renewed vitality for the relationship or maybe it’s a peaceful and thought-out transition out of the relationship), 2) how much effort you both put into the sessions and the work between sessions, 3) how open to change you both are, and 4) time.
Changing long-established patterns isn’t quick or easy, but if you’re both committed to your individual evolution and collective growth, then couples therapy can be very effective.
Moreover, therapy isn’t just for couples in crisis. Many couples use therapy to maintain a strong and healthy relationship, even when things are going well. It’s a proactive approach that fosters deeper understanding and prevents future issues from escalating.
Common Signs That You Might Benefit From Couples Therapy
If you’re unsure whether couples therapy is the right step for your relationship, look for the following signs:
1. Communication Breakdown
Communication is at the heart of every successful relationship. If you find yourselves constantly arguing, misunderstanding each other, or feeling unheard, therapy can help. A therapist can teach you both how to communicate more effectively, ensuring that each partner feels validated and respected.
Sometimes it takes the energy of a neutral 3rd party to identify the obstacle and patterned blockages to your relationship dynamic. It can be hard to see what’s truly going on when you’re stuck in a pattern.
2. Frequent Arguments or Conflict
If you and your partner frequently argue over the same issues without resolving them, couples therapy can help uncover underlying problems. Many couples are caught in cycles of conflict where the same issue is discussed but never fully addressed. Therapy helps break that cycle by encouraging productive conversations and conflict resolution strategies.
You’ll discuss what’s really lying below the surface of these common arguments. What are the things being left unsaid that are heavy in the air between you? You’ll learn how to bring these issues to light in an approachable and safe way. Often just giving voice to some of these patterns has a way of shifting them, other times concrete tools and new strategies are needed.
3. Loss of Emotional Intimacy
Over time, it’s normal for couples to experience changes in emotional intimacy. However, if you feel emotionally distant, disconnected, or like you’re living separate lives, therapy can guide you both in rebuilding that closeness. According to a study published in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, couples who engage in therapy experience an increase in emotional intimacy, leading to better overall relationship satisfaction which lasts for years following the end of therapy.
4. Trust Issues or Infidelity
Trust is the foundation of any relationship. If there’s been infidelity, dishonesty, or broken trust in any form, therapy can help you both process these feelings and rebuild trust. Working with a therapist can provide a structured environment where both partners feel safe discussing difficult emotions and finding a way forward.
Sometimes a more trauma therapy approach needs to be taken in these scenarios because of the impacts that broken trust can have on the person who feels slighted. Each couple is different in their needs and your therapist will discuss what course of therapy feels more relevant in your situation.
5. Feeling Stuck or Unhappy in the Relationship
If you’re feeling stuck or unsatisfied, it’s important to address those feelings before they get worse. Therapy helps couples navigate these emotions and offers guidance for making changes that can bring greater satisfaction to the relationship. Rather than accepting unhappiness, therapy empowers couples to work toward a more fulfilling future together.
6. Life Transitions or Stress
Major life events, like moving in together, having a child, or going through a career change, can put stress on relationships. Therapy can help couples navigate these transitions and manage the additional stress that might be affecting their bond. Couples who seek therapy during challenging times often emerge stronger and more connected.
According to research by The Gottman Institute, 67% of couples report a significant decrease in their relationship satisfaction within the first three years of having a child! That means when you’re at a dinner party with two other couples, you can pretty reliably assume that two of those couples have gone through a significant rough patch in their relationship since becoming parents, or maybe they are currently in their rough patch.
The Benefits of Couples Therapy
Couples therapy isn’t just about solving problems—it’s also about enhancing your connection and building a healthier, happier relationship. Here are some of the benefits that many couples experience after therapy:
Improved Communication: Couples therapy offers tools and strategies to improve communication, allowing both partners to express themselves more clearly and listen actively.
Stronger Emotional Bonds: Therapy helps partners rediscover the emotional intimacy that might have been lost over time.
Increased Relationship Satisfaction: Research shows that couples who go through therapy often report higher levels of satisfaction and happiness in their relationships
Healthier Conflict Resolution: Therapy provides constructive ways to manage and resolve conflicts, reducing the likelihood of ongoing arguments.
Better Mental and Emotional Health: When relationships improve, both partners tend to experience better mental health and reduced stress levels.
What to Expect in Couples Therapy
Couples therapy is often structured around weekly sessions, though the exact frequency and duration may vary based on your needs. During a typical session, both partners will be encouraged to share their thoughts, feelings, and concerns, while the therapist facilitates the conversation in a neutral and supportive way. The therapist may offer suggestions or tools for improving communication, managing emotions, and resolving conflict.
Therapy can take different approaches depending on the therapist’s background and the issues at hand. Common therapeutic approaches include cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT), which focuses on changing negative thought patterns and behaviors, and emotional-focused therapy (EFT), which focuses on strengthening emotional bonds.
One of the key elements of couples therapy is that both partners need to be invested in the process. Change takes time, and both individuals must be committed to working through the challenges together.
How to Get Started with Couples Therapy
If you think couples therapy might be right for you, the first step is finding the right therapist. Start by researching therapists and practices that offer couples counselling. You can ask for recommendations from friends or check online directories, such as Psychology Today’s therapist directory, to find qualified professionals.
Don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist for a consultation. Many therapists offer free initial consultations where you can discuss your goals and determine if you feel comfortable with them.
Keep in mind that it may take some time to find the right therapist, and that’s okay.
Couples Counselling at Access Therapy
At Access Therapy we have a list of therapists who offer couples therapy with varying availability and styles. It’s best to start with a free consultation so that we can get to know you and your needs in therapy, and then we can recommend one of our therapists based on this tapestry of information.
It can be hard to know what to ask, where to look and how to find the right fit for you both, that’s why we take the guess work out of it for you. Let us help you navigate this journey by helping you find the right couples therapist.
Take the First Step Toward a Stronger Relationship
Couples therapy can be a powerful tool for building a deeper, more fulfilling relationship. Whether you’re navigating a tough patch or simply looking to strengthen your bond, therapy offers valuable guidance to help you and your partner grow together. If you’ve noticed any of the signs above in your relationship, it might be time to consider reaching out to a therapist who can help you find the path forward.
Taking that first step toward therapy is an act of courage, commitment, and love.
